Metro Manila (CNN Philippines) — I cannot exactly call myself a lolo and lola’s boy because they had lots of grandchildren, but I can confidently say that I am the closest to them.

Growing up, I would always spend my summer vacations at their house in the sleepy town of Infanta, Quezon. Nothing much really happens there, to be honest, but I always liked the place because of Pop and Mom.

They would bring me to the town’s eateries and let me order anything I want, push me to actively participate in church youth activities, take me to the town’s perya or the local carnival every fiesta. They give me money every week to teach me how to save – and yes, they tuck me to bed.

When I was in high school, Mom quickly weakened because of a stroke. The gracious Mom that I grew up knowing suddenly became as delicate as paper. It came to a point when she could no longer do things on her own, so I would sometimes try to help in taking care of her.

One time, I went inside her room to check on her, but I was greeted by the sight of the nurse changing Mom’s diaper. We met eye to eye, and I could tell that even in her weakened state, her eyes were full of anger, probably screaming “GET OUT!” at me. She was outraged. And that was shocking because Mom was very meek and mild — she was never the grandmother who would scream at her grandkids.

If anything, the incident told me that Mom was too embarrassed by what she probably thought was a sign of senility.

Later, Pop also had to use, albeit begrudgingly, adult diapers despite his protests. He was a very proud man, having served in the U.S. Army, and using something that is only worn by the old and the sick was just not an option to him. He always complained about the adult diaper being bulky and itchy.

Those were my last memories of them — memories of refusal.

The truth of the matter is that incontinence is part of the natural life cycle for many older adults: 303 million women and 121 million men worldwide experience incontinence. Alarmingly, 50% do not seek help because of misinterpretation of symptoms, misbelief, unawareness, or shame.

Urinary incontinence occurs when there is an impairment of the lower urinary tract function that may be due to faulty response of the bladder muscle or inability of the mechanisms involved in maintaining continence — or the ability to voluntarily control emptying the bladder and bowels effectively.

Fecal or bowel incontinence happens when there are injuries already to the rings of muscle at the end of the rectum, or to the nerves that sense stool in the rectum. These could be caused by medical conditions that impair normal urination and defecation or, for most cases, by age-related changes.

Incontinence may affect not just the general health of the patient but also the quality of life, overall well-being, and social function. As a person loses the ability to sense, understand, and respond to the urge to urinate and defecate, they would require care and patience, as the condition is usually accompanied by burdens of coping, embarrassment, and poor self-esteem.

Atul Gawande said in an essay in 2007 that people, generally, have long avoided the subject of decrepitude and that there are costs to averting our eyes from the realities. He said, "For one thing, we put off changes that we need to make as a society. For another, we deprive ourselves of opportunities to change the individual experience of aging for the better."

True. Maybe it really was not that easy for my gracious Mom and my proud Pop. They really did not like the adult diapers. Had my family known about better alternative options, say Hy-Pants adult underwear, maybe things would have been different for them.

The Hy-Pants adult underwear is completely different from the adult diaper. It comes in a slim, cottony underwear that is discreet, with a breathable back sheet cover that allows air to pass through, providing a cooler feeling while preventing rashes.

Hy-Pants also has a full stretchable waistband that allows hassle-free movement. Essentially, it can be worn like regular underwear beneath regular clothing. Pop and Mom probably would not even think of it as anything different. Had they worn adult underwear, maybe they would have been more confident to continue to enjoy the activities they loved.

Had we known, maybe my last memories of Pop and Mom would not have been that of refusal.

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