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Preparing a child for their first period (and 40 or so more years of the monthly experience) is an important task. One that requires honesty, empathy, and support. But this woman may have forgotten all three.
Recently, an anonymous Reddit user submitted a story to the ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ community, asking if her response to her stepdaughter’s first period (or rather, the way the teen handled it) was appropriate.
Apparently, the 16-year-old was too embarrassed to tell her what she was going through, so she simply took the woman’s sanitary products without asking.
So the woman scolded her and took everything back.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Experts point out that discussing periods shouldn’t come as one big talk at a particular age. Ideally, the conversation should start early and slowly build on the child’s understanding. Both girls and boys need reliable information about periods.
For example, if your little one sees a tampon and asks what are you going to use it for, you could say something like, “Women bleed a little from their vagina every month. It’s called a period. It isn’t because they’re hurt. It’s how the body gets ready for a baby. The tampon catches the blood so it doesn’t go on the underwear.”
Over the years, you can give your child more information as he or she is ready.
If your child doesn’t ask questions about periods, you can bring it up yourself. By the time they’re 6 or 7 years old, most kids can understand the basics of periods. Look for a natural moment to talk about it, such as:
Ask if your child knows about periods. Then, you can share various information in an easily understandable manner, such as: as a girl develops into a woman, her body changes so she can have a baby when she grows up. Part of that is getting a place ready for the baby to grow inside the mom. The place a baby grows is called the uterus. Every month the uterus wall gets ready for a baby. If there is no baby, the uterus wall comes off and bleeds a little. The blood comes out of a woman’s vagina. The body makes a new wall every month, just in case there is a baby.
Answer any questions simply and directly.
These talks are as important as ever. In 2019, YouGov conducted a study in the UK, asking British men to label a diagram of female genitalia. The results were abysmal. Well over half of the men surveyed could not label the vagina or labia, and the majority could not point out where it is that urine comes out.
However, the same study found that plenty of women have problems navigating their bodies, too. For example, 43% of them could not label the labia.
The only part of the female genitalia which the majority of both genders got right was the clitoris, identified correctly by two-thirds of men and women (71% of women, 69% of men).
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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
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This woman is a nightmare. My first period came when I was at my dad's house- all I wanted was my stepmother. She hugged me, gave me one of her pads to use, then went right out and got me my own supply (it was quickly becoming apparent that what she was using wasn't adequate) plus came back from the store with some cute jammies for me to wear because "it's important to be comfortable at that time".
That's pretty much what I did when my oldest started hers - she was a lot younger than this girl and could've easily have been a horrible experience for her - it was for me - I was only 11 when mine started and in the middle of a netball game - of all the times to be jumping about in a tiny skirt - needless to say I didn't know until I got home. I've bought supplies for my kids friends if needed, wouldn't even notice if anyone took any without asking even, it's not like anyone would take them other than the fact the needed them. This woman is clearly a super immature and selfish person
YES! This is how you handle that! I was a whole NINE years old when I first started and can not imagine having a grown woman scream at me for trying to find some freaking pads for it. She is a kid. A kid that is going through a messy, painful first. She should be totally embarrassed and ashamed at her behavior!!
She basically violated every part of the "girl code"
IKR? We should confiscate her "woman card"...and she would need to earn it back!! lol
Nowadays, you even hear of Male teachers who will have a basket in the corner, of female products, he has a family and so much awareness to bring the basic needs to the environment. Some dads can project some sort of normalcy about such things too."At the store Megan, do ya need something?" M- I could use some xyz product D- " like your mom's brand?" M- sure, I'll have mom get something else if it didn't work for me, thanks dad. D' -" ok, I know it's just a function that girls deal with, nothing to be afraid to ask for." Not in my day, I'd leave the room if 'that' commercial came on. I had two daughters that came into age after menopause, and I made sure that they were covered--note -they were both 3-4 years younger than 16 when it came about, so this gal is kind of 'stupid' if she wasn't having that type of inquiries for those 4 years of marriage. As a parent, maybe even had a doctor check out as to why. Didn't say about bio mom, but ask if this is typical for that side of the family.
And this ladies and gentleman i how i became a juvenile delinquent. Despite having two older sisters, i had no idea how to obtain products. There were none in our bathroom and so few in moms that i fugured she would notice. So at thirteen, no money, i went to the store and stole them.
Sue, I'm sorry. That must have been really awful. Hugs.
Same. Myd ad forbid mention of it in our household, my sis kept hers hidden, my mom kept hers hidden, it was steal or nothing.
YTA. Why couldn't you share? Why not buy her some of her own and why the HELL did you make such a big deal out of it. Stepdaughter is very young and probably embarrassed and feels insecure. Definitely YTA.
Times a hundred. Good grief, like the whole mess isn't bad enough without all that!
I feel sorry for the daughter. I remember my first period (I knew what is was and stuff), it was at a wedding and I'd had a headache all day. Went to the loo and bingo. Thing was, My mum was on a sofa like queen Nefertiti with a broken leg. I told her and she gave me a tampon. Sheesh man, that thing was bloody (pun intended) uncomfy bc I hadn't inserted it properly.
OMG Caro that just brought up a long-forgotten memory of my first tampon adventure as well! I was 11, went to an amusement park with my grandma and 3 older cousins, and came on my cycle. My then-15 year old cousin gave me a spare tampon from her purse to use...but I was too embarrassed to tell my "big", cool cousin I had never used one and had NO clue how to do so. I took the wrapper off, and just shoved the entire thing up there...applicator and ALL. Had the bottom part of the applicator hanging out for hours and wondered HOW this was supposed to be more comfortable than the pads?? And I still bled all over, so they weren't effective either!! I decided to strictly stick with pads. LOL...it wasn't until my aunt showed me (my mom was very old school and never wore tampons and disliked them), a year later, how to properly put it in that I realized how goofy I was!! You are certainly NOT alone :)
Aaaaw, that must have been very uncomfortable. Thank god for Aunties :)
Yikes. I rember i had a little booklet that showed you how to use them. I dont remember where I got it.. health class maybe.
Quite an opposite story , My grandparents married early 30's , so during the Depression, my mom came along 3 years later. when she was 12, they were struggling yet as their parents were now living with them. She was dropped off with neighbors (with 3 boys) with her clothes and a box of pads, with only the message' you're going to need these' nothing more. That woman had to 'put on her big girl panties' and fill in the gaps on a moment's notice. My mother had tremendous respect for that woman, for this gal had no reason to prepare for such a 'talk' as she had boys. She handled it was grace and care. This 'cow' couldn't have seen this coming 'miles' away. Not that the dad is off the hook, but he could have stepped up in any number of ways before this.
See ... ALL women can be "Aunties" :)
This woman is a nightmare. My first period came when I was at my dad's house- all I wanted was my stepmother. She hugged me, gave me one of her pads to use, then went right out and got me my own supply (it was quickly becoming apparent that what she was using wasn't adequate) plus came back from the store with some cute jammies for me to wear because "it's important to be comfortable at that time".
That's pretty much what I did when my oldest started hers - she was a lot younger than this girl and could've easily have been a horrible experience for her - it was for me - I was only 11 when mine started and in the middle of a netball game - of all the times to be jumping about in a tiny skirt - needless to say I didn't know until I got home. I've bought supplies for my kids friends if needed, wouldn't even notice if anyone took any without asking even, it's not like anyone would take them other than the fact the needed them. This woman is clearly a super immature and selfish person
YES! This is how you handle that! I was a whole NINE years old when I first started and can not imagine having a grown woman scream at me for trying to find some freaking pads for it. She is a kid. A kid that is going through a messy, painful first. She should be totally embarrassed and ashamed at her behavior!!
She basically violated every part of the "girl code"
IKR? We should confiscate her "woman card"...and she would need to earn it back!! lol
Nowadays, you even hear of Male teachers who will have a basket in the corner, of female products, he has a family and so much awareness to bring the basic needs to the environment. Some dads can project some sort of normalcy about such things too."At the store Megan, do ya need something?" M- I could use some xyz product D- " like your mom's brand?" M- sure, I'll have mom get something else if it didn't work for me, thanks dad. D' -" ok, I know it's just a function that girls deal with, nothing to be afraid to ask for." Not in my day, I'd leave the room if 'that' commercial came on. I had two daughters that came into age after menopause, and I made sure that they were covered--note -they were both 3-4 years younger than 16 when it came about, so this gal is kind of 'stupid' if she wasn't having that type of inquiries for those 4 years of marriage. As a parent, maybe even had a doctor check out as to why. Didn't say about bio mom, but ask if this is typical for that side of the family.
And this ladies and gentleman i how i became a juvenile delinquent. Despite having two older sisters, i had no idea how to obtain products. There were none in our bathroom and so few in moms that i fugured she would notice. So at thirteen, no money, i went to the store and stole them.
Sue, I'm sorry. That must have been really awful. Hugs.
Same. Myd ad forbid mention of it in our household, my sis kept hers hidden, my mom kept hers hidden, it was steal or nothing.
YTA. Why couldn't you share? Why not buy her some of her own and why the HELL did you make such a big deal out of it. Stepdaughter is very young and probably embarrassed and feels insecure. Definitely YTA.
Times a hundred. Good grief, like the whole mess isn't bad enough without all that!
I feel sorry for the daughter. I remember my first period (I knew what is was and stuff), it was at a wedding and I'd had a headache all day. Went to the loo and bingo. Thing was, My mum was on a sofa like queen Nefertiti with a broken leg. I told her and she gave me a tampon. Sheesh man, that thing was bloody (pun intended) uncomfy bc I hadn't inserted it properly.
OMG Caro that just brought up a long-forgotten memory of my first tampon adventure as well! I was 11, went to an amusement park with my grandma and 3 older cousins, and came on my cycle. My then-15 year old cousin gave me a spare tampon from her purse to use...but I was too embarrassed to tell my "big", cool cousin I had never used one and had NO clue how to do so. I took the wrapper off, and just shoved the entire thing up there...applicator and ALL. Had the bottom part of the applicator hanging out for hours and wondered HOW this was supposed to be more comfortable than the pads?? And I still bled all over, so they weren't effective either!! I decided to strictly stick with pads. LOL...it wasn't until my aunt showed me (my mom was very old school and never wore tampons and disliked them), a year later, how to properly put it in that I realized how goofy I was!! You are certainly NOT alone :)
Aaaaw, that must have been very uncomfortable. Thank god for Aunties :)
Yikes. I rember i had a little booklet that showed you how to use them. I dont remember where I got it.. health class maybe.
Quite an opposite story , My grandparents married early 30's , so during the Depression, my mom came along 3 years later. when she was 12, they were struggling yet as their parents were now living with them. She was dropped off with neighbors (with 3 boys) with her clothes and a box of pads, with only the message' you're going to need these' nothing more. That woman had to 'put on her big girl panties' and fill in the gaps on a moment's notice. My mother had tremendous respect for that woman, for this gal had no reason to prepare for such a 'talk' as she had boys. She handled it was grace and care. This 'cow' couldn't have seen this coming 'miles' away. Not that the dad is off the hook, but he could have stepped up in any number of ways before this.
See ... ALL women can be "Aunties" :)
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